Meet my Son, Spencer
     I believe everyone who's ever gotten to know me, professionally or personally, has heard me speak (glowingly) of my son, Spencer.  In fact he frequently accompanies me on my business errands.  He's a brilliant, creative designer in his own right, often creating his own books, inventions, automotive designs, and scale models of things to come.  He's been a fixture in the Fan District of Richmond for most of his life, and is well known in this area--not because of my efforts, but because of his own unique charisma.
     Spencer has a form of autism called Asperger's Syndrome that makes him view the world in a different way.  He sees, hears and remembers details that most of us would overlook or forget.  His mind works in a very literal manner, and he's prone to recite and reenact things he has experienced.  He has a refreshing honesty, juxtaposed against an ongoing urge to invent.  Words and symbols are often interchangeable to him, making his speech and understanding of speech confusing at times, but delightful once you've learned his unique linguistic quirks.  He struggles with social and linguistic conventions, but is bursting with innovative ideas and dynamic perspectives.
     Autism was once considered a rare condition, but presently seems to be much more common.  There is a spectrum of disorders, from mild (high-functioning, like Spencer) to severe, which carry the autism label.  People with the milder forms of autism seem fairly "normal," even charming; whereas those with more severe forms of autism are noticeably awkward and often have visual signs of retardation.  While I think Spencer is perfect as he is (I would clone him in a heartbeat), I would love to know more about the causes and mechanisms of autism.  Support for families with autistic members is crucial.  I manage with Spencer rather well, but his needs require me to be with him more than most parents can afford.  Therefore if you are one of my local clients, you will most likely meet Spencer at some point.
     Should you ever encounter Spencer or another person with Asperger's Syndrome, please have no anxieties about it.  He is fascinating, helpful, and rarely a distraction from the task at hand.  He is likely to point out something amusing, inform you of a little-known fact, or ask a truly puzzling question.  His sincere interest in things we might consider mundane, his unique way of speaking, along with his honest rationale, are refreshing.  He can become confused if you attempt to jest with him the way many adults do with the children of their peers, as he tends to interpret phrases literally.  He can also be startled by sudden approaches or someone touching him or his things.  However, he can and sometimes does succeed in expressing or comprehending humor and engaging in handshakes and hugs.  People who have come to know Spencer are actually disappointed when I show up without him.  He's very much a celebrity in many of Richmond's neighborhoods and business districts.  I am more famous as "Spencer's Dad" than as a local businessman (and I've worked in and around Richmond since 1989).
     Spencer enjoys vehicles, video games, science, building things (Legos, Tinker Toys, etc.), designing things (cars, mostly), ancient Egypt, drawing pictures, gardening, playgrounds, miniature golf, swimming, go-karts, picnics and animals.

More about Autism
     People with Asperger's Syndrome ("aspies") and other forms of High-Functioning Autism (HFA) require a great degree of support in order to function socially, especially in groups, but with guidance and encouragement, many are able to lead independent and meaningful lives.  I believe Spencer will have a good degree of independence as an adult and will offer much to the world.  He is such a joy and inspiration already.  Others with autism, however, remain dependent on intensive, lifelong care and supervision.  It is my wish to offer what help and advice I can to other parents of autistic children, and to encourage a better public understanding of the autism spectrum of disorders, as there seem to be an increasing population of autistic persons.
     One of the most crucial things to bear in mind when dealing with an autistic person, especially children, is to not feel offended if they are unresponsive, abrupt, or obsessing about something.  They are unaware of our insistence, our emotional expectations, or the necessity to look at or reply to someone.  Those who associate with autistic people, even parents and caretakers, must remind themselves to not get upset if they feel ignored, disregarded or offended.  Autistic people hear and interpret words differently than what we mean to express.  They may need us to repeat ourselves several times.  They might not appreciate what we consider urgent, but it's not because they have contempt for us, for authority, or for what we consider "right."  They are in a different reality with different values, but are almost always sincere and well-intentioned.  Becoming upset with an autistic person is unlikely to make him or her pay attention or produce a positive outcome.  Shouting at or intimidating an autistic person will terrify him or her, and cause a period of panic, severe withdrawal, or obsessive recollections of other frightening situations.  Autistic people are unlikely to associate your emotions with the circumstances at hand.
     People with autism often don't have a sense of urgency about issues that are not their own.  Their minds associate concepts and emotions differently (there's actually a logic to it, though it's counterintuitive to our method).  They are repelled by faces, noises, and sometimes physical contact.  Most are reluctant to try new things.  Autistic persons are famous for only eating a small variety of foods (it can be terrifying or traumatic to be presented with a new food).  Their brains interpret sensory input on a scale neurotypical persons cannot relate to.  Certain textures, flavors, sights and sounds can cause what we would consider pain and shock.  It is a challenge to keep Spencer eating more than 5 or 6 different foods on an ongoing basis (some self-reliant autistic adults have been known to eat as few as two foods for years at a time).  When overstimulated with joy or frustration they may rock, spin, flap their hands, or fidget in some obsessive way (known as "stimming") that comforts or calms themselves.  Stimming is a safe and beneficial practice, though in some instances a particular mode of stimming might not be appropriate.

Read my Blog entries dealing with parenting and Aspberger's Syndrome

Parenting an Autistic Child

Spencer Gets a Pet

Overstimulation